Karla and Dead Star Adult Dating
Karla was a student at California Institute of Technology (Caltech) in Pasadena. She fit the profile quite well. If you’ve ever watched the show The Big Bang Theory, and walked away with the impression that people who teach, work, or study at Caltech are absolute nerds, then you would be absolutely correct.
Karla fucking fits the profile. Thick horn-rimmed glasses, frumpy sweaters, really bad posture, and low self-confidence. The whole nine yards, man. This is just like nerd territory. And you’re probably thinking, “How the fuck did you end up with her? I mean, unless you’re into nerd dating?”
I’m not. I was basically on Tinder, just doing my free adult dating thing, like the typical dude there who knows how to play the game. If you use Tinder a lot, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you’re a typical dude, you fucking basically approved almost all the female profiles. It doesn’t get any simpler than that. What you’re doing is you’re playing a statistical game, because you don’t know which of those profiles will like you back. If you are extremely selective and you just focus on your niche of women, chances are there’s going to be a lot of chicks who are not in your niche, who would like you. And maybe there’s not enough women in your niche, so when they do like you back, you have a lot of competition. Do you see how this works?
So anyway, I was doing that, and I wasn’t really paying attention. I was just fucking basically swiping. I have this game plan that I follow basically. As long as it isn’t obvious that the chick isn’t a chainsaw murderer or a strung-out heroin addict, I would basically pass her. I was just doing my thing, in the middle of trading stocks in the computer, hanging out at Starbucks. And then I called it a day after doing some swiping.
The next day, I opened up my computer to process some trades in the morning, and lo and behold, I got this message from a chick named Karla. So I looked at her profile, and sure enough, Caltech pussy. You know, all nerdy. And I was already thinking that the conversation is going to suck. She probably wouldn’t wanna fuck. She probably is all fucking insecure and nervous and awkward, and all that shit. But I looked at my schedule and it’s not like it’s overflowing with pussy, so I said to myself, “Well, fuck it. I’ll go.”
So we met up. The resto we were going to is pretty popular in the Pasadena area, so we just decided to hang out at the parking lot after they gave us this fucking buzzer. If you’ve eaten at a very popular restaurant, like P.F. Chang’s, you’d know that they give you a buzzer so you don’t have to wait in line. Maybe in the parking lot, they buzz you if you’re up. So anyway, we got this buzzer, and we just hung out in the parking lot.
And really, this is where I learned that adult dating can blow your mind. I’m not just talking about sex. I’m talking about blowing your mind in the sense that it will teach you new stuff and connect you with different parts of your personality.
Karla looked up at the Southern California night sky, and she saw some stars. I was like, “Okay, I haven’t seen that before, right?” So I was kind of rolling my eyes. She told me, “Pick out a star.” So playing along, I picked out, like, a fairly distant, dim star. As you can probably already tell, I’m a fucking pessimist, all right? I make no bones about it. I’m the dude who’s going to tell you that that glass is fucking half-empty. I don’t give a fuck what you say; it’s half-empty. So that’s just my thing.
So anyway, I point the dimmest star on the sky, and I thought that was going to be the end of the conversation. She told me, “What if I told you that that star is dead?”I sat up and paid attention. I said, “What do you mean?” She said, “Distance, when it comes to stars, is measured in light years. A light year is the distance it takes for light to travel in a year. Since light travels in the speed of 186,000 miles per second, you can tell it’s a big distance.”
I was like, okay, she got my attention. “Wow. So you mean to tell me, a lot of these stars that we’re looking at right now are actually dead. They’re so far away that their hydrogen fuel already went out, and it’s only now that their light is reaching us.” And at that time, she was pointing out one star after another, and telling me how they could have died.
And as time went on, as she was going through this explanation, the sexier I found her. And this is one revelation of my adult dating career that taught me an important lesson about myself. I actually find really intelligent women sexy. And it more than compensated for how she looked. She looked frail, she had bad posture, and she had these thick-ass glasses.
So at that time, I took off her glasses and I started peering into her eyes. She had almost beautiful light blue eyes. You can tell that they were eyes of an insecure person who lacked confidence, but somebody who also had profound passions. And one of her passions, of course, is astrophysics. So we started kissing, and they buzzer kept buzzing. And I said, “Fuck it, dude. We’re just gonna stay in the parking lot.” And she nodded her head, laughing.
We did it there in the parking lot. This brings home the second point, which is, great sex is all about soul blending. It’s too easy to get caught up in what separates people. You know, maybe you look different from each other; maybe we talk differently; or we’re fascinated about different subjects. But if you allow yourself to be caught up in the moment and find each other’s beauty in the moment, it leads to great sex, but that’s just a by-product. The bigger thing is that we’re not all that different. And there’s something liberating about that idea, especially if you experience it.
As the French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau said, man was born free, but everywhere, he’s in chains. I can’t agree enough. I mean, we’re born free, with no fucking inhibitions and no limitations. And here we are, walking around like damaged and highly-limited people.
And the thing is, we all live in invisible prisons, and the person that put us there is ourselves. Maybe we picked up some habits along the way – I am, of course, talking about mental habits – that prevent us from really living up to our fullest potential. It happens all the time. I mean, it’s definitely true with me.
When me and Karla were fucking like rabbits in the back of my car in the parking lot, it just really brought home the point because I was having sex with a chick that I normally would not be interested in. She really opened my mind that it’s really all about focusing on what unites us. Her sense of curiosity really attracted me. It resonated with my own sense of curiosity. This was the beginning of me leaving my mental prison, as far as attractions are concerned.
The good news is that curiosity trumps all fear. Fear is what keeps you down. You’re walking around in this mental prison, and all the while, you have the key in your hand. So I took my key and turned the lock, and now Karla’s my girlfriend. And I’m the happiest motherfucker on the planet.